The Crusader

The Cruasder

The Crusader was a staunch defender and champion of the weak, sticking up for those who needed sticking up for. They made their life into a quest against injustice and devoted themselves to good. As time went on their quest stopped leading them to combat evil and instead brought them into conflict with innocents. Eventually their actions against innocents left them ostracized by the community they used to stand for, which led to their demise.

The Crusader's power is to declare Oaths to themselves which grant them tremendous abilities as long as they are upheld and to declare pledges to Hell which grand protections as long as they serve as a proper symbol.

Play the Crusader if you want to become the ultimate champion of a cause by holding yourself to a personal code and managing your public perception.

With the Crusader, you can craft yourself some of the most powerful abilities in the game. However, you will constantly have to tread personal and public lines to keep your access to those powers.

Examples: Arthas (if he died and went to Hell instead of becoming a death knight), 

Str: 17

Int: 8

Wis: 13

Dex: 10

Con: 11

Chr: 16

HP: 21

+lvl   : Combat, Evangelizing

+lvl/2 : Theology, Tactics

Traits:

Stubborn ● ● ○ ○ ○

The Crusader is someone who rarely compromises or changes their mind. This character is the sort of person who would stand up for whats they believe in against an army or refuse to admit that they were wrong even when presented with overwhelming evidence.

● – Can check to avoid having mind changed or to ignore new developments.

● ● – Can declare a "truth" and must make a save vs anything which would contradict said truth.

Protective ● ○ ○ ○ ○

The Crusader is a vigilant person, who strives to defend everything they care about. This character is the sort of person who would offer someone the shirt off their back with no expectation of anything in return or stand by a friend, even when they turned out to be truly horrible.

● – Can check to redirect opponents attention away from their friends to themselves.

Oaths and Pledges:

As the Crusader your power comes from your steadfast convictions. By believing in a cause with unquestioning certainty and holding themselves to a higher standard the Crusader is able to stand against the mightiest of Devils and perform feats which rival their powers. As the Crusader gets a better sense of themselves they can make personal oaths which provide them with access to new abilities and public pledges to all of Hell which make them impervious to attacks. While the Crusader gains great power from these Oaths, if they ever break them they will loose all of their benefits until they can regain their steadfast composure.

For each Rank of each Trait the Crusader may make an appropriate Oath to give themselves an appropriate ability. These Oaths may start relatively minor at lower ranks and must become more extreme as the ranks go up. It is important to note that these Oaths are not made to any outside entity, but only from the Crusader to themselves. In fact, no one else knows what the Crusader's Oaths are unless they tell them, and they can feel free to lie. As long as the Crusader is able to convince themselves they are upholding the Oath they will keep the power. (If a player wishes to play a delusional Crusader or one who otherwise takes advantage of this fact it is important that the Crusader acts as though they truly believe what they claim to. It is important that the arbiter and player communicate with each other to make sure no mechanical abuse is happening.)

Below is an example of Oaths and Powers relating to each rank of the Trait Savior:

Savior Rank	Oath	Power
● ○ ○ ○ ○	I will do no harm	Non-Lethal Attacks
● ● ○ ○ ○	I will help those who ask for it	Lay on Hands
● ● ● ○ ○	I will leave every situation better	Cure Disease
● ● ● ● ○	I will save anyone in need	Holy Shield
● ● ● ● ●	I will fix Everything	Raise Dead

Non-Lethal Attacks would give the Crusader the ability to perform attacks with the intention of resolving conflicts leaving the opponents unharmed. The exact means can defy most reasonable logic (disarming a tiger by trimming its claws and/or teeth with a single slash, hitting enemies so hard you bury them up to their necks in the ground while leaving them unharmed, etc.) with the effect scaling with damage (<10: inconvenienced, 10-19: majorly inconvenienced, 20-29: temporarily incapacitated, 30+ incapacitated for foreseeable future).

Lay on Hands gives the Crusader the ability to heal incapacitated for an amount which scales with their level. (probably 2HP/lvl?)

Cure Disease would give them the power to fix the causes of problems instead of just acting on the symptoms of the problems. The exact definition of "cure" and "disease" here can be quite flexible, and it could be used on entities besides persons. The more major the problem the more the Crusader would have to put into getting the desired solution.

Holy Shield would allow the Crusader conjure a magical shield which could protect another target from damage and attacks. I imagine there could only be one barrier and it would remain for as long as the target remained within line of sight of the Crusader and the Crusader wished to uphold the power. During this time they would be immune to any hostility, though not the consequences of their own actions.

Raise Dead would allow the bringing back of an entity which would normally be considered past the point of no return. As with Cure Disease the exact definitions here are flexible, and the more they are flexed the more additional work is required by the Crusader.

With each of these Oaths and Powers I attempted to match the Oath with an ability which would allow it to be carried out, with all of them still falling under a reasonable definition of the Trait to which they are derived from. Though the lower level powers are only especially useful for a character who has made the respective Oath, the higher level ones are supposed to get quite powerful with Rank 5 having the power usually only seen by Wish magic in other campaigns.

Each of these abilities can only be used once before it can must be recharged, though the act which recharges the power can be the same which expends it. This means that as long as the Crusader is using their Non-Lethal Attacks to attempt to do no harm they can keep using them. Once they decide to use this power for any other reason they must perform an action in the cause of doing no harm before they are able to perform the Non-Lethal Attacks again. This is the general form for powers which I wish to emulate, but other powers may work differently with multiple charges or slightly different ways of getting them back.

For each Rank of each Trait the Crusader may make an appropriate Pledge to give themselves an appropriate Defense. Just like the Oaths, Pledges start relatively minor with minor benefits before becoming quite powerful at high Ranks. Unlike Oaths, Pledges are not made to oneself but instead are yelled from rooftops to all of Hell. While Oath's power comes from the Crusader's belief in themselves, Pledges come instead from Hell's belief in the Crusader. This means that the Crusader does not need to actually uphold whatever pledge they make, and instead must only appear to uphold any such pledges to any who are watching. While powers are things which are activated by the Crusader with limited uses, Defenses are limitless innate/passive bonuses.

Below is an example of Pledges and Defenses relating to each rank of the Adjective Just:

Just Rank	Pledge	Defense
● ○ ○ ○ ○	I will not harbor the Unjust	Detect Injustice
● ● ○ ○ ○	I will not permit the performing of Injustice	Attacks Cause Arrest
● ● ● ○ ○	I will bring Justice to any I meet	Long Arm of the Law
● ● ● ● ○	I will bring Justice to the most Unjust	Incite Mob
● ● ● ● ●	I will bring The Universe to Justice	Immune to Unjust Attacks

Detect Injustice allows the Crusader to innately know what Injustices Hell considers whoever they are talking to to have committed.

For Attacks Cause Arrest, whenever the Crusader deals damage to an opponent they must make a save equal to the damage dealt or be considered "under arrest". If they are under arrest they must either give themselves up to the authorities (usually the Crusader) to decide their punishment or they can "run from the law," attempting to escape the Crusader.

Long Arm of the Law gives the Crusader the ability to get a free attack against anyone trying to escape them they could reach, regardless of the circumstances. They also move twice as fast when attempting to chase down the Unjust.

Incite Mob means, whether they want them to or not, the Crusaders actions attract the attention of those around who will circle and demand justice be served, whatever that means.

At the highest Rank Pledge, the Crusader becomes immune to anything which is considered "Unjust". This probably means that ambushes or similar strategies can no longer harm the Crusader, though honorable duels and just deserts could still bring them down.

Again the Defenses increase in power as the Rank of Pledge increases, and they are always related to the Pledge which is made. In addition the Defenses all operate under the understanding of Hell as opposed to the Crusader themselves, so what is and isn't Just is not up to the Crusader.

The Crusader does not start with any Pledges or Oaths even though they do start with Traits. Instead, they must make them at reasonable moments over the course of the game. At the end of each session a Crusader may gain one Pledge or Oath whose ranks are less than or equal to the Level of the Crusader. In addition each Rank must be taken in order, no skipping Ranks. Making an Oath requires a moment of personal reflection and thought, while Pledges instead require the new decision to be yelled to the world from the mountain tops. In order to provide everyone the time to figure out what Power or Defense is appropriate I suggest that this happens between sessions.

Just as Oaths and Pledges can be made, they can be likewise abandoned. This happens in the exact same way as gaining them, in a moment of quiet contemplation or a loud proclamation. They can also be lost if the Crusader fails to live up to them. In the event that the Crusader takes an action which clearly shows that they are not holding themselves to their own Oaths or shows Hell that they are not holding themselves to their Pledges they will loose that Oath/Pledge and the Power/Defense which goes along with it. In addition, since their faith in themselves or Hell's faith in them has been likewise shattered they temporarily loose all of their other Powers or Defenses respectively. These will remain unavailable and can't be used till the Crusader makes a change in their Traits/Adjectives (respectively). If the same action causes a loss of Oath/Pledge and Trait/Adjective it doesn't count for this. 

Steve's Diary: Intro 42-47

Somewhere, perhaps very far away, perhaps very near, or perhaps incomprehensibly other to where it was made, someone or something will find a small wooden box, about a one foot by one foot six inches. Maybe they will be someone who knew the people depicted in its contents, maybe they will be those actual people, or maybe they will be completely unrelated. This could happen very soon after the documents were made, it could happen long past when their events occurred, or it could even happen before they take place.
In any case, the following describes the box and its contents to whomever finds them in whatever circumstances.

The front of the box has a series of what appear to be symbols carved onto the front. They may even appear to be letters if one looks close enough, but it is  clear that these were copied incredibly crudely and painstakingly by someone who did not understand what they were carving. The symbols appear to be "sTEvE + sIr G", followed by a single gash stained by blood when the engraver slipped before getting their tool confiscated and giving up on their project.

Opening the box, the first thing one notices are a series of many colored cylinders rolling around inside. Most of them seem to be made of a waxy substance of a solid color, though some appear to be made of strange materials possessing strange colors and even stranger properties.

There are also hundreds of pieces of paper piled in the box, conveniently both in chronological order and separated into arbitrary sections. One lies above all others at the very top of the pile.

It is a plain sheet covered in a simple waxy black scrawl raised off the page. There also appears to have stains from small droplets of salty water mixed with meth-amphetamine littering the page. It reads as follows:
-------------------------------

• New object made from candle wax, pigments, and solvents, melted into stylus
• Useful for marking on hard surfaces
• Poor for detailed notes, too cheap for magical writing, unless......

(The next line appears to be a glossy black with sparkling flecks of gold instead of the previous plain matte)

• Can be easily combined with other magical? materials
• Useful for marking warnings and labels on lab equipment
• Perhaps useful for marking insults and phalluses on sleeping persons
• Could be used to teach to write without need for ink
• Maybe could teach a family
• With a nice Gnomish wife and child in their nice gnomish yar--~~ 
• Oh God, why did they have to go

(After the previous line trails off the notes start up again in a more manic and twitchy handwriting)

• Notes are resistant to liquid precipitation
• New name after resistance to tears: Cryons

-------------------------------
Next are a number of pages which all littered with markings of the Cryons of all different colors. Some of them appear to depict shapes, animals, and people, but often they are just chaotic swirls and scribbles.

Next is a page written in a beautiful ornate cursive with ink. Each word has jutting branches giving the impression that the text is a number of strange multi-legged creature skittering around the page. It says the following:
-------------------------------

The Diary of

the Member of Josephine Walshe's Manshire Miscreants:

Steve

the Sloth Shaman

Title Page Design, Writing Lessons, and Creative Ownership property of

Josephine Walshe, Vitruoso Entrepreneur

(There is also the artist's signature in the bottom right of page and a smiley face in blue Cryon which was added after.)
-------------------------------

The rest of the contents seem to be arranged in roughly chronological order, and the first section of papers will be described below.

-------------------------------
A page which shows a smiling stick figure with long dreadlocks accompanied by a happy sloth drawn using a Cryon the color of inner peace. They are outside a stone house talking with a frowning women. Inside the house is a frowning man and a smiling 25 year old boy.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
A page which shows the dreadlocked person with a bushy brown mustache sitting with the sloth who is now wearing lipstick and the boy. Above their heads is a speech bubble with a wolfman the color of puberty who smells like anxiety along with a pointy shoe-ed sorcerer drawn with a Cryon which quite frankly has rude and unkind disposition. Neither the mustachioed figure, the boy, nor the sloth are smiling.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
The next few pages shows the person with dreadlocks and the sloth along with a few others. There are an assortment of Bayrian children along with three identical looking men. There is also an androgynous figure with one arm longer than the other and a woman with her hair back in pony tail. In the pictures the ensemble are often giving each other hugs with one standing in front while the others sit. The woman looks very, very tiered.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
There is a page with an ensemble of people standing under a cool sun with sunglasses. They include:
The dreadlocked person with the sloth the color on inner peace.
The person with one arm longer than the other.
A woman drawn with Cryons the color of vanity and pride. She has an inky shadow behind her painted with watercolors.
Another woman who appears to be wearing flames. The projection of a three dimensional cube drawn using a three and a half dimensional Cryon appears to float off the page in front of her.
A pair of armored figures who it is unclear if they are arm wrestling or holding hands. The long haired one is holding onto a book in their other hand, while the short haired one has a fish.
An armored figure holding a large pick and a potato. The starchy smell of french fries wafts up from the page.
A masked figure drawn the color mystery.
A leather armored person holding a page with squiggles on it and a wooden T.
A short gnome with no nose drawn the color of insecurity.
A slightly less short slightly bearded dwarf who seems to smell slightly of singed hair.
A helmed person holding with them a large and kinda gross book. They are far away from the figure with the fish.
A short, snarling figure with no shoes. He holds a very large stick with a very large rock at the end.
A cloaked figure with pointy ears and a bow as large as her.
A number of dogs running around at everyone feet.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
A page showing a large open area shaded in darkness. The ceiling appears to be speckled with star like motes of light drawn using a glow in the dark Cryon. The floor is shaded in with green fluffy lines.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
This page smells rancid as its taken out, and is wrapped around what is either a cylinder of rotten cheese or a Cryon. The image shows a room covered in disguising greenish grey full of rats, rat men, and some of the ensemble members. Everyone is making a gross face, and the figure wreathed in frames has a thought bubble going up showing an image of the whole room on fire.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
There is a page which shows a wizard with a goatee, blue robes, and a hole in his chest. He is drawn using only translucent colors. He is pictures next to the ensemble and has a speech bubble with pictures of a dagger, crystals, a ladle, a bug, a large man, 9 copies of himself all smiling together (fully opaque), himself wearing a cowboy hat, ghosts, angry faces with horns on their heads, the Helmeted ensemble member with a frowny face, and a mountain.
-------------------------------


-------------------------------
There is a page which has the woman previously drawn with the shadow now only drawn with normal colors. She appears to be painting a smiley face while holding hands with the sloth who is holding hands with the dreadlocked figure. A large ladle is moving away from the woman full of an angry swirl of the shadow and colors of pride and vanity which were used to draw her before. This page appears to be speculative.
-------------------------------

Treygarian Spremeius in Double Dragon

Treygarian Spremeius in,
Double Dragon
Book IXX, Part V, Chapter XXVI of Treygarian's Journeys
Recorded by Alison "Ali" Bee on January 3rd, 3016

Treygarian and his crew sat mournfully in the rotting remains of the town situated at the top of the island **Chasm**. The town which had once been perched above the great crevasse which gave the island its name was now almost swallowed up by dark pollutant goo. It was only a few moments ago that the dark evil goo had swallowed the crew's favorite shipmate and chronicler, Ali.

Bai's head hung low when she asked Treygarian "Who will write of our brave exploits and daring maneuvers now? How will we know that the drinks and love we've shared was real if no one can remember it?"

Treygarian didn't know how to answer the questions. He had been with Ali since his first adventure, (know to followers of this saga as Treygarian Spremeius and the Fated Fabric) and without her he was lost, like a ship without a captain; or a ship without a rudder; or a ship without a map and compass; or a ship without any oars or sails.

His light burning out, Legendary searched for a way to rectify the situations. "We must have some sort of funeral for Ali, something worth of her bravery and the significant impact she has had on our lives, since there is no way that we could simply continue on with our adventure after her passing as though nothing had happened. But I don't think even the largest funeral procession would be enough for the grave her death has dug in our hearts."

Upon hearing his comrade's speech, Zazu! had a plan. He quickly shared the details with the crew, after which they all lined up at the edge of the cliff Chasm was perched upon.

"Ready? GO!" Treygarian yelled and started sprinting with the crew toward the edge of the cliff. At the same time Arrano flew in the sky with a flaming arrow notched in his bow. In one eye was the sorrow for the passing of a friend, but it was with the other eye which burned with a fiery passion for vengeance that he aimed and fired his missile.

When the fire touched the goop it spread like smooth peanut butter through Chasm, quickly causing the largest explosion ever seen on Nadjas (which, as we all know, is the name of the planet where this story takes place). At the same exact moment our heroes jumped, causing the explosion to push them away just like in those super sweet moving pictures illusionist create. Unfortunately the super sweet action scene ended almost immediately as our heroes were enveloped in a dark evil purple bubble, unable to escape the grasp of the island of Chasm.

Chapter XXVII

As the smoke from the coolest-explosion-ever cleared, Treygarian's became visible, trapped in an iridescent opalescent fluorescent almost crescent effervescent orb, controlled by an adolescent prepubescent makes you need anti-depressants because of their incessant incandescents dragon.

"My name is Chasm, Evil Lady of the Oceans!" the beast said slightly too loud in a voice only a mother could love. "And YOU will be my dutiful servants!"

"I would never work for an evil mistress of darkness who was responsible for covering the oceans in black goo and who also ended all of her sentences in exclamation points." Bai said just calmly enough to earn a period.

"I am also a force for good, and so would never be convinced to do evil for you." Legendary added on.

"Hahaha, you may not want to, but you shall be bent to my will!" Chasm exclaimed again, unable to use her inside voice, before using her magics on the crew. The evil glowing colors of creepy deep sea creatures washed over our heroes, hypnotizing their brains.

"If only there were one of you intelligence enough to resist my powers! Perhaps one who spent time writing important and well composed stories! Alas, no such person exists, and so I have complete control over the greatest and most beautiful hero in the land, Treygarian Spremeius!"

On any other day, Treygarian would have been able to resist the deep sea hypnosis of Chasm, but the sadness of loosing his closest friend and companion Ali left him in such a state that the rainbow jellyfish like glow turned his heart to evil.

"We must convince everyone that Khyros is responsible for the black goo, and then hunt him down and kill him," the now transformed Nega-Treygarian stated.

"Yes, I agree. We should do it without any fun tricks or shenanigans. I also hope I don't see a ghost." Zazu! said, their mind clearly muddled.

Arrano's eye of vengeance which once held fire for the murderers of his family turned instead towards Khyros, his heart now filled with a desire to kill the innocent black dragon.

"Good! Good!" Chasm screamed, "Now go to my servant in Atlantis, Prince Meridian the Centrist and claim a ship worthy of your battle against my dragon brother!"

Chapter IIXXX

The (now evil and mind controlled) crew walked into Atlantis' thrown room just in time to hear **Prince Meridian the Centrist** make his decree on the anti-apartheid protests present in Atlantis.

"Racism may be bad, but that's why I can't support your statement that 'Human lives Matter,' and must instead say 'All lives Matter.' Now that we have this cleared up please leave my thrown room you filthy humans, and make sure not to dirty the place up."

"Now who are you creatures?" Meridian said as he turned towards the crew.

"We are agents of the great Chasm of the Sea, and are here to request aid in our battle against the dread Khyros of the void." Bai piped up.

"I know Chasm, Evil Lady of the Oceans, and Khyros the Nice Sweet Boy, and it is clear that you have been brainwashed by Chasm into thinking she is good while Khyros is evil. Normally this would mean I would refuse to help you, but Khyros is large, black, and scary, so I guess I have no choice but to aid you. Please take the Whale Ship, the dopest shit we own even though we can't use it because it goes in the sky and we live underwater."

The charmed party said their thanks and hopped on their new flying ship, eager to spread their lies and misinformation as agents of Chasm.

Treygarian Spremeius and the Entrance of the Dragon

The following is a fictional account of the events of the first session of Joe's Book II game written by my character Alison "Ali" Bee. Those existing in the world may find pamphlets with these words written on them sold for pennies or given away, though Ali would avoid giving people stories in which they are characters. If anyone notices mistakes, they are defiantly there on purpose because Ali is a mediocre fan-fiction author, and defiantly not because of any mistakes I have made. If anyone has suggestions for pictures or other details to include, feel free to contact me so I can make this anthology of stories the best one yet. Without further ado, please enjoy Treygarian Spremeius and the Entrance of the Dragon.

Treygarian Spremeius and the Entrance of the Dragon
Book IIXX, Part XXII, Chapter XVII of Treygarian's Journeys
Recorded by Alison "Ali" Bee on December 23rd, 3015

After defeating the Demon Apes of Gorilla Island and making love to the Sorcerous Chimp Princess Zaynab, (Found in last issue's Treygarian Spremeius and the Spiteful Simian Servants of Satan, now on sale for only 2 copper!) Treygarian walked through Zay's portal to a town as familiar as it was dangerous: Havensworth.

It had been a few months since Treygarian had last set foot in the hub of the Alerians, notorious rivals of our good looking hero. It was with no small sense of pride in his own sense of dramatic timing that Sir Spremeius (as he was known in Havensfeld after the events of Treygarian Spremeius: Battles, Blossoms, and Bosoms, the anthology available for the low low price of 5 copper!) noticed he had arrived on the eve of the yearly celebration of his close friends and colleagues the Witch Hunters. Content knowing he soon could talk once more with the eccentric fellows and shake Gerbo's unusually large hand for the lead on the location Olaf the Orangutan's Gorilla Island hideout, our hero grabbed a pint of ale and leaned against a pillar.

For any new readers, it is imperative at this moment that we describe exactly what gazing upon Treygarian Spremeius' body entails. We'll start with his hair. The shoulder length golden shining locks of Treygarian have been compared to rays of sunlight brushed by Dwarven smiths, shampooed by Elven maidens, and conditioned by Aphrodite herself. Looking down one's senses are pierced by his gorgeous blue eyes, strung up by his cheek bones, and struck by his chiseled jaw. His chest swells with imposing pecs, punctuated by erect caltrop like nipples. Abs like rocks protruding from rapids are only loosely concealed by his ruffled shirt, barely buttoned. Treygarian Spremeius is not easy to miss in a crowd.

Another figure difficult to miss was the shark man known as kAAHH. The seven foot tall creature, clothed only in his cummerbund and armed only with his rows of dagger like teeth, sniffed the air. Like any other warm or cold blooded person, kAAHH was enchanted by our hero's presence, and advanced menacingly toward Treygarian's pillar, saliva leaking from his mouth.

"kAAHH can smell what has value, and he knows what has the most worth here. What be the price of your hair, glorious one!?"
Treygarian smiled at the sahuAAHHgin's desire to own what could not be owned, to tie down what must fly free, that gripped so many people he encountered on his journeys.
"I am in need of an adventure soon, and would not be opposed to having a strong warrior on my side. I could trade you a lock of hair for your services on my crew."
Though the warrior made a show of considering declining the offer, his drooling mouth gave away that he could not refuse. As Treygarian Spremeius cut his glowing mane the sahuAAHHgin fell to one knee and greedily snatched the offered filaments and tucked them into his belt.

"Did I hear something about adventure?" A brave voice said from below.
Looking down, Treygarian saw a halfling with a green stone in her forehead. Though Bai Kai Tian was stout of mind and soul, the direct eye contact of Sir Spremeius made her heart flutter so powerfully she almost looked away.
"My order's scrolls say that it is our duty To Defeat Evil, Drive It Out of the Land, and Hear the Celebration of Men and Women. I'm looking for someone to perform my duty with."
Treygarian smiled a smile which felt like being buried in kittens and replied, "It would be my pleasure to lead you to the end of your order's holy quest."
With this response, Kai was sure that the being before her was the chosen one her order told her about as a child. kAAHH's response was a little different.
"You joined us!? For free!? You FOOL! AHHAHHAHAHAH!" he yelled before wandering off in search of more treasure.

"I have another friend who is also searching for justice," Kai said, gesturing toward the roof. Perched above was the bird person Arrano. Arrano's feathers were radiant will all the colors of the rainbow while his equipment was steeled for all the danger which lay. His left eye held all the sorrow of one who suffered a terrible tragedy and his right all the righteous anger of one who would claim vengeance. The two heroes gazed into each other's eyes tenderly as they recognized another who experienced both gentle love and harsh pain in this melancholy and dangerous world we all inhabit. It was obvious to anyone who saw the single tear each of them shed that Treygarian would lead Arrano to the justice he so desperately needed.

As the crowd fell silent from such a beautiful display of emotion, the organizers of the celebration decided to start the official ceremony. Lady Grace Aleria stepped forward and explained that though the celebration today was for the Witch Hunters, they were unfortunately not able to join for the traditional raffled feast. Right as she was about to cancel the whole affair Lady Grace noticed Treygarian in the crowd. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought back to the the times they strove together and fought against one another both in the field and the bedroom. (as detailed both in Treygarian Spremeius: Battles, Blossoms, and Bosoms and the NOW FREE Treygarian Spremeius and the Apocalyptic Apology of the Alerians) Instead of canceling the dinner as she had planned, Lady Grace decided to keep the drawing open in hopes of luring our hero into her castle and, eventually, bedroom.

Disappointed at not being able to see his compatriots the Witch Hunters, Treygarian Spremeius was about to leave when a peculiar figure approached him. Legendary was one of the humanoid war machines from Faen'Dasia know as warforged, possessing a strong mechanical body and a holy third eye on his forehead.
"Excuse me sir, but I am in need of a hero. You see, I am an adventurer from a distant land who wishes to ask the castle what I can do for good in this part of the world. I am afraid that as a foreigner who worships a foreign god the Alerians will not believe that I have a pure and good robotic heart, but if I could be accompanied by one as pure and good looking as you, well there would be no question as to my intentions. With my well oiled hard steel and your well oiled biceps there is no evil which could stand in our way. What say you?"
"How could I say no to such a well built brother in arms?" Treygarian responded with fire in his heart, "I believe destiny has decided I and my party must have another date with Lady Aleria after all."

With his plans now set for the evening, Sir Spremeius walked to the guide waiting to lead the throng of patriotic citizens to their promised dinner. Treygarian walked through the familiar halls of the capital before the group was left in a waiting room.

"Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to need a doctor?" said a voice from under a mask.
Cara appeared to be a plague doctor judging from her menacing bird like mask. Treygarian was no stranger to physicians chasing after him, trying to capture what it was about his biology that made him the greatest hero in the land.
"I don't think I do miss," Treygarian replied, "I'm still tender from the last time I got physical with a medical professional." (Treygarian Spremeius is of course referring to his encounter with the Dominating Doctor Darwinious, last seen in Treygarian Spremeius and the Evolution of Epistemological Evil, currently going for one copper piece)
"Well I insist you at least consume this vitamin I concocted while I study you further. You wouldn't want to loose your energy on such a long, hard, journey."
Treygarian knew the moment he consumed the offering of the "good" doctor he would be powerless to stop her advances to medicine. Luckily, Cara wasn't the only interesting character currently in the waiting room. Treygarian had made eye contact earlier with the goblin known as Zazu! who clearly had the same love for breaking the shackles of doctoral authority as he our hero. Using the secret goblin hang gestures he learned during his (as yet untold) month long imprisonment with the Hobgoblin Witch Queen Trudu, Treygarian asked for a flask of spirits, the only antidote to the foul potion Cara had brewed for him. With a deft movement Treygarian quaffed both liquids at once, canceling out the vile potion and leaving only the smooth taste of whiskey which only someone as refined as Treygarian could enjoy.
"While I'd love to stay and chat, I'm afraid I have someone to meet," Treygarian said much to the surprise of Cara, who expected her "vitamin" to have taken effect by now. "I'm sure this won't be the last we see of each other," he called over his shoulder to both of them while also signing a thanks to the goblin who kept him safe.

Treygarian was, of course, going to meet with Lady Grace Aleria. He had deduced (correctly) from the time taken that she must have cold feet, nervous that he would remember how she had stolen the diamond the Aquatic Alien Adventists had gifted to him after he stopped a noble faux pas from ending the world. (A story which can still be recounted for FREE in Treygarian Spremeius and the Apocalyptic Apology of the Alerians) It was only as he took a short cut in front of the royal vault that our hero noticed something was off. All of the magical seals usually present had been removed and the vault itself was cracked open instead of sealed. Curious at what could have caused such a change, Sir Spremeius entered the vault.

It was almost exactly as he had remembered it, filled to the brim with relics deemed too dangerous to be anywhere else. Cursed swords, bound demons, and forbidden tomes lined the metal walls, along with a certain jewel only dangerous to the Alerian family because of the embarrassing circumstances under which it was stolen. Treygarian quietly pocketed his lawful property before walking to the secret sanctum at the back of the vault, also left ajar.

"Greetings my beautiful fine fellow
I wish that the circumstances we met under were more mellow

I would love to meet with you after my vile deed is done
Then we could've had some fun, hun."

It was with this vile rhyme that the jester like figure with armor as black as night and red as blood crushed an orb of darkness, causing a huge calamity. The Alerian castle came falling apart as above the sky ripped apart like the jeans jacket the Levi-athan attempted to trap Treygarian in after he flexed his way out of it. (as can be read in the first ever written history of Treygarian Spremeius, Treygarian Spremeius and the Fated Fabric, currently a rare collectible item) Emerging from the hole like Treygarian emerged from the destroyed clothing article was a black dragon so mighty and enormous there could be no question it was here to destroy the world, starting with the castle.

Unfortunately for the dragon, it could not complete its task without interference. With the architecture crumbling around him Treygarian leaped from falling block to falling block, approaching the evil creature. Afraid for its life so soon after appearing, the dragon quickly fled from Sir Spremeius, leaving only the destruction in its wake.

"I guess my date
will have to wait."
Treygarian said as he fell gracefully to the rubble below and began digging the injured out. Following his lead, other heroic individuals crept forward and joined his valiant effort, including a strange woman sparkling skin named Eva who shared glances with our hero while saving countless lives.

An Easy Fix: A New, More Playable, Witch

I think that my Uncle's Witch is very interesting and accurate from historical/simulationist view inside of his AD&D universe. Unfortunately, this means that it is incredibly complicated and unfun from a game design perspective. The following is my idea for how to make the class fit better and become more playable in AD&D games I would be involved in while changing as little as possible.

For this quick fix almost everything would stay the same, including: Familiars, Potion/Poison creation, Taboos, Witch Marks, Candle Magic, Talismans, Control Dolls, Spell research, creation of magic items, penning of scrolls, and special powers.
What changes is their magical literacy, use of Wizard/Clerical Magic Items, and "spheres".

As I see it, there are two glaring flaws with the Witch right now.

First, the Witch is currently intended to be in a uniquely fucked up situation until 3rd level. They start with a number of spells known like a Mage, but they have no way of keeping a spellbook from which to prepare the spells. In Uncle David's world, this means that they are only able to continue preparing the spells which they have previously prepared the day before, and can not prepare spells which they know, but do not have currently loaded.

At third level they are able to now keep a spellbook where they can record and prepare spells from, but since they don't have a copy of the spells they don't have memorized, they will need to find another copy of those spells before they can put them in their book, essentially baring them from preparing them again.

In addition, the Witch's ability to do things which Wizards and Clerics can do but not both comes in slowly, strangely, and haphazardly. There is a logic to it, but it is not predictable or sensible to someone who isn't embroiled in AD&D. It goes as follows: Use magic items Wizard or Illusionists but not Clerics can use @ 3rd, Cleric only items @ 5th, Read scrolls @ 6th, Read any scrolls as thief @ 9th.

Instead of this system, I propose a simpler one. At first level, if a Witch were to attempt to engage in an action which a Cleric or Magic-User could do but not both, they suffer a -50% chance at success. This decreases every level by 5% to 0 at 11th level. This includes learning new spells from Wizard spellbooks or scrolls instead of from another Witch or as their leveling spell.

Now instead of 5 rules which all occur at different levels, there is one rule which represents a Witch slowly becoming more and more literate in traditional magic. Witch's spell books would still be pseudo spell books, and they still would not even be able to learn spells from a Wizard's spellbook till 3rd level when they can cast Read Magic, but now they don't suffer from a very specific and punishing interpretation of the pseudo Vancian casting my Uncle uses in AD&D.

The second problem with the Witch is how confusing the current "sphere" system is. In an attempt to include established but taboo gods in the Witch's portfolio, (namely Bahamat who my uncle has many Witches of) there is a system now where a witch Patron can also grant Clerical Spheres in addition to allowing the Witch to use "witchcraft" (their standard spell casting). These come at the cost of a penalty to learn new spells and high level spell witch spell casting. So a Witch devoted to Asmodeus may gain the ability to spontaneously cast spells from the Evil, Law, and Charm(Rulership) domains, but they would loose the ability to cast 5th, 6th, or 7th level "normal" witch spells and a -15% chance to understand "normal" witch spells of any level.

This doesn't really make sense to me for a number of reasons, but my largest gripe with it is that it is overly complicated and only serves to confuse class identity by buffing what was before a downside (limited spell list) and removing part what made it uniquely powerful/interesting. (the high level unique witch spells) That being said, I think that differentiating Witches based on their Patrons makes sense as a goal, but I suggest a different way of doing it.

Around every new spell level, the Witches Patron (maybe through their familiar, the Patrons organization, or through dream) may reach out to the Witch and ask them to perform a task for the Patron. At low levels this will be minor (take care of someone in the town the Witch is already in, collect an item from a dungeon they're already going to, ect.) but will grow to full blown quests at higher levels. As opportunities for the Witch to prove their loyalty, usefulness, or faith to the Patron the Witch will receive a reward for successful completion of the mission.

Now each Patron can provide powers to the Witch in exchange for the Witch's unique support in various efforts, fulfilling the promise of a pact specific to each Witch. Patrons which are close to and desire godhood can reward the Witch with access to spheres, while others could give physical rewards or magical powers. Patrons with less of a interest or power in the world may not offer as many missions or care if they are completed while others may have severe consequences if the Witch fails to constantly further their goals.

If I were to continue to adjust the Witch there are two more major changes I could see making. Currently the class has access to a hodge-podge of alternate magic systems. I think this is really cool and flavorful, but ends up burying players in a large number of confusing and bizarre options which border on making the class overpowered and mid-high levels in very specific circumstances. Instead of the current system I would have a few different options of specific alternate magic systems the Witch could choose between (like alchemy, charms&dolls, maybe curses&candles?) to provide a more controlled power level and clearer focus for players, while also expanding the world and its cultures.

The second problem I see is that by providing the Witch total control over the powers of their familiar, the mysterious spirit which is flavorful a mentor becomes nothing more than a common minion. I would want to provide tools for a DM to construct familiars as entities of their own with goals, plans, and schemes which may not align with that of the player/character, perhaps even giving them additional powers which are decided by the DM/Patron or chance instead of the witch themselves.

Hopefully these two quick fixes can change the class from being all but unplayable to instead a bit complicated but still fun and engaging. If people have feedback on/want to help with these or the suggested next steps of the class I'd love to hear from them.

EDIT: I have been notified the link to the original Witch isn't working great. Here is a link to the geocities cache of the page it is on, and here is a link to a cache of the whole site.

A E S T H E T I C S

Everyone has things in art which they find appealing for both scrutable and inscrutable reason. Today I want to try to scrute some of the things which end up showing up in my games regularly and attempt to give my personal explanation for why I enjoy and use them. Below are some of my ideas about a few of my aesthetics in RPGs. (and D&D-esque games more specifically) I hope you enjoy.

Self Awareness
I enjoy when art makes statements about things. In fact, a thing made to convey a thing would be pretty close to my definition of art. That being said, calling one's own work, and specifically a D&D game, "art" brings with it many pretensions. As a 23 year old unemployed student living with my parents, the thought of making grandiose statements about life through a game I play on Sundays with my friends strikes me as a bit much. That doesn't stop me, but I find remarking on specific small things which I have intimate experience with much more appropriate. By far the thing which I have the most expertise in compared to the average person is games, which means that my games most end up talking about themselves. This ends up working quite well, since I quite enjoy things which talk about themselves in some way or another.

Just like how joking about my ravenously avid deer readers of whom there are many when really I know that there are only two people who read anything I write (hi Jeff and Keith) makes the absurdity and pain of writing long, personal, rambling think pieces about nonsense no one cares about hurt less, placing characters in my games which make fun of me for making games which attempt to say things makes trying to convey meaning through playing pretend feel a little less silly.

In addition, I find that self awareness helps to solve a bit of the tone problem RPGs can have from time to time. Everyone who sits down to the table has their own ideas about what kind of story they want to tell, and all of those ideas colliding at once can end up making things more awkward than good. Specifically self awareness lets everyone at the table know that, yes, you are aware how ridiculous it is that half the table is trying to rescue a princess from the horrors of capitalism while the other half is trying to burn down a bar and steal a gnomish submarine, all while getting pizza stains on a book older than everyone reading it and making anime jokes. Once we are able to acknowledge how absurd this game we are playing is, I actually find it easier to take it seriously for what it is.

An example of a character who makes a statements about the games I play in is Steve the Sloth Shaman and his buddy Sir Gabriel the Demon Slayer in Alex's Kadab Brazam game. Steve is a dorky kid with very low self esteem who really just wants to have friends and help everyone get along. He despises conflict and would probably be regarded as a pacifist, his only "weapon" proficiency being in Hugs. I try for Steve to say a number of things about the way that we play D&D. First, his morals are (probably) closer mine than any other character I play, and therefore he totally and completely fails to fit in. Steve is not an advocate for genocidal racism, the acquisition of wealth and power through use of force, or really much beyond kicking it with his friends and eating sandwiches. This brings him in conflict with the views and desires of most adventurers, and (imo) points out lots of the morally questionable aspects of the fantasies we revel in when we play games.

An example of me using a character in a game I ran to comment on the game itself was Jules from my Colors DCC game. Jules was the "familiar" of Schwaldon the Prismatic, the great wizard who collected the party and whose many "personalities" were the driving force of the plot. Jules only had a few things characterizing him: his emo hair and appearance, his ability to magically serve as the PC's and Schwaldon's mystical butler, his exasperated sighs and rolled eyes whenever serving as the PC's or Schwaldon's mystical butler, his residence in the basement of the party's house, and his membership in a band consisting of the kitchenware he magically animated in the basement. (He played the bass) The game was intended to in many ways be an examination of depression, and Jules was my way of showing everyone involved that I realized how silly that was. He appeared as a kid of a similar age to me (though much more fashionable) and encompassed most of the more ridiculous stereotypes of depression and/or someone who would write a D&D game about depression and play it with his friends. By laughing at myself and also placing a ridiculous version of myself in the world for everyone to also laugh at I was able to feel more comfortable writing the ridiculous narrative which I ended up making.

Cycles
If my desire for self aware games is a defense mechanism against the real world then my desire for cycles is a desire to bring my favorite parts of learning and understanding in the real world to my games. Pattern recognition is something which comes to us easily as human beings, and making things in patterns is similarly easy. Attempting to spontaneously create a large number of things with no limitations is quite difficult, but attempting to match a given set to ideas is a much more approachable task.

If I need to make 7 new characters for a plot, blindly creating personalities can be difficult, but if I instead base each of them around one of the deadly sins then the characters start to write themselves. In addition, if I think up something interesting and compelling for one of the members of a cycle, I can then take that as an opportunity to adjust and reapply that idea to each of the other members, making them all more fleshed out.

Now of course cycles don't always work and aren't always appropriate. When attempting to create and represent something alien and unknowable, organizing it around an understandable pattern defeats the purpose. In addition, sometimes attempting to squeeze the last few elements into the mold created by the first ones is all but impossible. But this is also why I enjoy using the cycles; they give the world some sort of order which can be understood by everyone involved. In addition, for me trying to make the hardest elements fit in the cycle is when I get the most creative and come up with my best work, even if that creativity comes in the form of redefining what the cycles is/means in order to allow it to fit the elements I want it to.

An example of when I used cycles in a way I think worked was also in my Colors DCC game. It has its name because each of the split personalities of Schwaldon the Prismatic corresponded with a different color. I got to have each of the 7 personalities be based on a different hue and some of the philosophies which I felt went along with them. I got to make names which were anagrams of different synonyms for the colors, give them all a design which matched their colors, and color their personalities appropriately. When I came up with the idea of a relationship between two of the colors I then got to apply the same ideas to each other of the personalities, and create a web of understandings between all of the entities. This ended up with what were (imo) my best defined (if very silly) characters for the players to meet with, since I understood how all my reactions and thoughts for the personalties should be organized.

Hell/Devils
In addition to my embarrassment about attempting to create things I'm proud of and my joy at understanding and decoding the universe, I also have angst about the world we live in. Systems of oppression, evil, or just incompetence seem to perpetuate themselves everywhere in terrible ways which get to the root of the problems in our world. Cycles may do a good job of representing the logic of our reality which I comprehend and appreciate, but I also need a way to convey when I feel the logic of our existence doesn't make sense. For me, Devils and Hell are the perfect vessel to represent these ideas. While a Demon's evil is random and doesn't need to have any rhyme or reason, Devil's evil is instead one of twisted logic. Their thoughts makes some amount of sense, but not in the way you think they would.

This where the three ideas collide. Devils are characterized as simultaneously hyper intelligent and completely lacking in any sense what so ever which allows them and the things they do to occupy a unique space in a narrative. If a farmer winks at the camera or makes a meta pun, it seems silly, but when a Devil does it they instead show their knowledge of this ridiculous and terrible world which they live in, and yet only an insane and disturbed entity would continue live in the same way knowing what they know about their reality. Self aware comments no longer take one out of the game, but instead convey the terrible anti-logic required to be a Devil. In addition, ironic punishment is something which is both famous in stories of Hell and requires some meta knowledge of a story and what is happening. The match of self aware commentary and terrible anti-logical evil is one which draws me back to Devil's as villains time after time.

Cycles also have a role to play in the diabolical too. While the demonic focuses on the individual and what they alone are exceptional at and can do by themselves, Devils instead focus on what is created as a whole. This understanding means that many things will occur in patterns, even if these patterns don't make traditional sense or are artificially created. In the real world forcing something to fit a cycle can lead to awkwardness, but for the Devils forcing a round peg into a square hole is what they do. This allows one to convey Devil's need to make everything fit in a specific cycle when it naturally wouldn't while also using a useful tool to help flesh out designs.


By colliding these three aspects, Devils and Hell become much more interesting to me than most other subjects in D&D games. My love for self reference, well organized and comprehensible systems, and edgy darkness all get fulfilled with just one type of bad guy. In addition, including the outer planes gives the games a philosophical undercurrent which I find incredibly interesting and engaging. Hopefully reading this has given you some idea how these three ideas (and many more) have guided me towards making the things I do today.

Something Small

Hey, its been a while. After Kai left I didn't have a lot of desire to write much and so didn't make much progress on putting anything up here. After that I spent about a week going down to SLO to hang with some friends and then drove back up just in time to continue driving North to Olympia, Washington to celebrate my brother's graduation with him. During this time I started writing something about my personal aesthetics in the games I design, but it got swallowed by the internet. I just got back yesterday, so I wanted to put down a couple of things to not loose my streak of writing.

First I've started working and thinking more seriously about the drafting to populate a town game that I mentioned before. Since the basic "mechanic" is choosing cards and then putting them down and constructing a story based off of the meaning which they provide I've been thinking a lot about all the different interesting ways you can put meaning into cards which require almost no objective game information/rules. A game which does something kind of similar well is the picture/other weirder cards in monikers. The second part of the thinking I've done with the game is the idea of letting people change and add to the game as time goes on ala a legacy game. By providing some arts and crafts supplies to people I hope to have everyone who plays the game (literally) leave a mark on the game. This could be done by adding an image/symbol to a card, decorating the box, making a new card, or even destroying an old card. Giving the game a DIY crafty aesthetic will hopefully encourage the players to do this since it doesn't seem like something precious and more something I threw together. In addition, the idea of a game which uniquely evolves and changes with the group who play it is a pretty enticing one, and expanding the changes to not only be the result of design but to also be design I personally find pretty dope.

Second I just wanted to mention some of the cool stuff I've thought about from continuing to listen to Soren Johnson's podcast Designer Notes, specifically his interview with Amy Hennig. (specifically part 2) One thing which she talks about is how when making a cinematic and narrative game many times things are all very wishy washy until the last moment when they end up being nailed down due to the process, and that it is important to accept and work with that chaos instead of fighting against it. Though there are of course many differences, it reminds me greatly of many of the D&D games I enjoyed the most. If you try to exactly plan things out too far in advanced you end up just stifling the creativity and fun of the players. Instead, keeping things flexible in session and between sessions when planning what comes next leaves the most room for everyone to enjoy the experience no matter what happens. Also, she sounds like a really dope person and its cool to hear what she says.

I'm planning on trying to finish up the town drafting thing in the next couple weeks, so I'm probably going to do a post on its design and also showing off if I do some stuff to make WIZARD SQUABBLE look cool. I may also write my post about my aesthetic preferences in the next couple of weeks, but no promises.